Controller’s Anonymous

Empty Chairs in Conference Room

Come in, grab a cup of coffee and sit down, the meeting is about to begin. Okay, quiet down; let’s call the meeting to order. Is there anyone who would like to begin?

I quickly look around the room, trying my best not to make eye contact. I have been through this several times. I know if things are ever going to change tonight is the night. I slowly raise my hand, making certain not to hold it too high…maybe she won’t even notice. No such luck, we lock eyes and I know it is my turn.

With all the courage I can muster, I make my way up from the rows of folding chairs to the podium. Here goes nothing.

“Hello, my name is Jamy and I have a tendency to control, a people pleaser to be exact. I have been for as long as I can remember – wanting to say and do what I needed in order to make others happy. It didn’t seem to be a problem, especially to begin with. I mean, aren’t we supposed to love our neighbor and do kind things for them? It was later on that I really started seeing the effects of this lifestyle. After having a conversation with someone, I would replay it in my mind – Did I upset them? Do they still like me? Or even Why did I say I would be the chairman of this event and do all the set-up as well? Sleepless nights, ulcers, stressed-out and overwhelmed are what I ended up with. Is there any hope for the card carrying member of people pleasers anonymous?”

Can you relate? Maybe your issue with regards to control is more of an enabler or martyr. No matter the title or end of the spectrum you’re on, I am here to tell you there is hope.

Let.It.Go. How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith gives you practical tips and ideas to letting go of your need to control. I hope through the course of this 6-week study I will be able to let go of those items I hold so tightly onto and solely rely on God to direct my steps.

Dear friend, I have some news for you, God not only sees the big picture, He’s the one painting it and has our best interests in mind. Let go of the reins and allow God to have complete control and lead you. This is not going to be easy and for some it will be very difficult, but nothing is impossible with God. Will you join me in this journey? Let’s leave our controller’s anonymous membership cards behind and take a hold of God’s plan for our lives.

15 thoughts on “Controller’s Anonymous

  1. Wow Jamy can I relate. I’m am definitely a people pleaser. I’ve made progress but still have a long way to go. Thank you for your post.

  2. I can relate to the sleepless nights, the endless playback of conversations, the wondering, “Should I have said that? What if it offends them?” Love that God is the painter of our lives. Now I just need to let go of the brush and quit arguing about the colors He’s using. Thanks so much for sharing.

  3. I’m a long term, card-carrying member of this People Pleasers crowd. I fear I headed to the end result of being a people pleasers. It’s a weird thing called “I Don’t Care – Just leave me alone”. It is not a happy state. Fess-up now so the healing can begin! I loved this Jamy, as I also do your blogs.

  4. Jamy,

    I loved this post! What a creative way to start it off! I love this: “Let’s leave our controller’s anonymous membership cards behind and take a hold of God’s plan for our lives.” And you are right. It will not be easy! But we can do it with His help and the help of others! 🙂

    Love and blessings sister!

  5. Oh Jamy-your heart is so like mine! When I read through those faces of control in Let It Go, I saw so much of myself as people pleaser and enabler. I am thankful to be on this journey of letting go. Even more so, I am thankful to be on it with so many sweet sisters who are right in the trenches with us.

  6. This post made me want to sit down and listen some more! I can totally relate to the after effects of what I said to someone. Totally get it!


  7. It’s warms my heart that it doesn’t matter where we are in our walk with The Lord we all can be encourage by each others faith. 🙂

  8. Thanks Jamy for a great post! I am not a people pleaser, I am a martyr. I find myself martyring to everyone around me and it just makes me and all surrounding me uncomfortable, upset and frustrated! So, I am joining you on this journey! God Bless Girl!

    Erin Cuomo, OBS Group Leader

  9. Thanks Jamy and yes I AM relating I am sad to say. I am a people pleaser and worry about what people think. I am doing better – I know if I please God the rest will follow. Hoping we get better and better in each study. Love you Jamy. Debbie Williams (OBS Leader)

  10. Wow I can relate to you. I like to keep people happy and if I think I have made them mad I play it over and over in my mind of how I could have done things differently. I am working on this but it is so hard. I do not like drama and it seems individuals around me love it. I just don’t understand how God makes everyone so different, but thats not for me know. Thank you for sharing.

  11. This was a great post much needed for me.. I am a people pleaser. I am also praying on my word which is hope and how ironic how you talk about there is hope.. Thank you Jamie for this blessed post. .

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